madscientisto: (jojo)
I have so many things to improve on. And the most important thing is communication skills, which I feel like I don't have at all. Now I'm a junior in college, in an engineering program LOL, and although the program is supposed to give me good presentation skills and confidence in technical skills, I'm always scared of things.

Freshman year, I felt sick because I had loud and rude roommates. Instead of joining many clubs and activities on campus I just either stayed the room or library, studying or enjoying my fandoms.

Sophomore year, I started to commute to Seattle (like 45 miles one way) so I was so tired to do anything besides homework and studying. I should have lowered my class load and went to office hours to gain more personal relationships with profs but again I was lazy and this is when I started to live off of solutions manual....oops there goes my test grades

Junior year, still commuting and since I'm saving money by living at home I don't mind. But I started taking classes for my major and realized this is so lame and I felt so stupid for not researching about majors when I was a freshman so I had more options to apply last year. When I applied for majors, (all engineering majors have competitive admission), I could only apply to this major and chemical engineering. I think I'd feel the same towards chemE if I got into the program but my grades didn't make it. Last year I was happy that I got into any major but now I'm regretting my lack of knowledge about the program.

aaaaand idk I guess taking this far commute everyday takes so much of my time and energy that all I've been focusing was my grades (and some fandoms).

I realized that's not all college is supposed to be. Now that I'm a junior, people around me have been getting internships and cool research and study abroads when I'm just watching video from home like a loser.

I wasted so much of my time not caring about other people that now idk how to communicate well with others.


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February 2015

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