Feb. 22nd, 2014

madscientisto: (HxH: killua)
I feel so glad of the people I know, both irl and online. I was so upset and people actually do care about my feeling and wished me to good luck. I guess I should post more on facebook and twitter about my life other than my usual daily life of homework and anime/games?

So yeah I felt so loved and I was glad that I actually did have some friends to talk with.

But then again, there's nothing I can do about the time I wasted in the past few years. This girl just added me on linkedin, and she is the reason I went to go for chemical engineering and most likely why I'm in bioresource engineering and not chemE. Well, my bad grade is the reason I'm not in chemE and it's not her fault. Anyways, I first met her in my freshman English comp class and she is a Chinese exchange student with a bubbly and cute personality. I was talking to her about classes a lot during class and since I told her I was taking general chemistry series, she told me about chemical engineering and why I should apply to the major. I was thinking about going to the health field so I planned to take biology the year after, but my conversation with her changed that. And the fact that I started to commute to school instead of dorming and bc the bio class started at like 7am or smth.

Anyway, because I didn't really look into majors in my freshman year and during the summer break afterwards, I really applied only to those specific engineering majors in my sophomore year. If I planned things better, I could have taken more programming or other engineering fundamentals and maybe got into other, more interesting majors.

Why I'm kinda upset now is because well, that girl apparently waited a whole year and then applied to her new major, electrical engineering, which I really should have actually attempted before doubting my chances bc of my bad electromagnetic physics grade. Now that I'm seriously looking into internships, I notice that there are far more opportunities for majors like EE and Comp Sci related majors. Chemical engineering will get me some process engineering positions but some of them don't look appealing to me at all. And I don't want to work anywhere near heavy machinery but a lot of my majors end up in those jobs. They might have good pay, but personally, they are in bad working conditions for me.

I did okay in intro computer science (java) class although it took a lot of my time, so I wish I continued that and found other paths other than my current BSE major right now. That friend waited a year, but in that year, she did so much in terms of research and campus jobs as grades, etc, and made good connections because she lived on campus and really took the opportunities of life. I wish I had the courage and patience to find those things.

I thought I didn't want to delay my graduation but I think wasting time during my 4 years of college doing nothing feels worse. If I graduated in 5.5 years, which is actually the average time to graduate from my school, I could have landed more work experiences that landed me internships and good skills I needed to get a job after school.
madscientisto: (Default)
The melody of Mamo's NEW ORDER is pretty cool and Miyani's killing it. The lyrics are so hard to hear but oh well man the chorus is good enough for me. This seiyuu is going over the top on too many things. Gotta love this guy.

And Kyary's Yume no Hajimarinrin is so cute yet but the melody and lyrics are so sweet and cute yet have a sense of sadness or nostalgia or whatever I lack adjectives. Nakata Yasutaka (the composer and writer) is just so amazing here. I honestly don't care about Kyary's singing but the lyrics really speaks to me.


Lately I'm feeling all these things I should've have done in the past and well, I need to grow up and become independent. I need to actually step out of my shell and discover the work atmosphere and find my own path. This song is just encouraging me to do that. Well, if I had close friends or teachers that supported me in my path that's what I'd say when I graduate and actually get a job.

I just watched the PV and it made me emotional againnnnn lol. I mean it's one of her good PVs (not that I've seen all her stuff).

I do have friends and family and good teachers who am I kidding?! I just need to get the courage to actively communicate with them orzzzzzz lol someone tell me how


madscientisto: (Default)

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